So, you’re in a bar with your boyfriend and you notice him looking at the woman behind you a few too many times.
I know how this feels..
It is so confusing … he’s said he loves you and you feel he’s sincere – but this behavior makes you insecure. It hurts.
So many thoughts are going through your head – but what do you do to make this stop?
You may not want to tell him how much his looks hurt you because you’re afraid that you will seem jealous or pathetic.
Why men look at other woman
For most men, looking at women is a long-conditioned habit. It’s a natural reaction, developed during your man’s teenage years. Seeing an attractive woman rewards the male brain with a good feeling. Most of the time, looking is not even conscious behavior – just a reflex.
This is, of course, not what’s going on when your man is actively flirting with other women! That’s another story … But when he’s just looking …
I am not saying that your feelings are undue
The fact that he is looking at other women may have nothing to do with you – but it can still feel hurtful. It can ruin your whole evening.
You want to feel completely sure of and adored by your man. You want to feel that you are the only one for him. Only then can you relax into the flow of the evening.
So, what can you do about it?
Even if you’re scared of appearing insecure, it is good to talk to him if his roving eye is something that makes a frequent appearance or if it makes you feel uncomfortable.
Like I said, your man may not be conscious of his behavior, and, when he knows that he’s causing you distress, he may work on changing his habits.
If he is a good man, he won’t want you to feel uncomfortable in his presence.
So – when it happens again, take a deep breath – identify your feelings and tell him what you’re experiencing.
Say something like this: “sweetheart – I love being here with you – and I feel a little turned off right now – when you are looking past me all the time – I don’t want to feel turned off – What can we do to change that?”
You can also ask him if he has ideas for something you can do to ease your own mind.
A caring man will pitch in to come up with a solution that takes both your needs into account.
If you feel that you get raged or angry while being in this kind of situation – it is possible that your life is trying to tell you something else. Than we have to take a closer look at your feelings and thought in that moment.
Do you feel you want more clarity about any situation in your lovelife – reach out to me!