Do You Have To Love Yourself First Before You Can Love Someone Else?

What does loving yourself mean? Isn’t that self-centered to love yourself first?

Loving yourself first doesn’t mean that you are egotistical or narcissistic, that you are only doing things for yourself and don’t care about others.

In fact, loving yourself first gives you more room to love others.

Loving yourself means making yourself the number one priority (not the only priority) when making life choices.

It means choosing things that are good for you, things that give you energy and help you grow. 

Loving yourself means being kind and nonjudgmental towards yourself, accepting and loving yourself completely. 

It’s possible to love someone else without loving yourself first, but it’s hard. Loving yourself makes it so much easier and more fun when you also share your love with someone else.

Sometimes, we talk to ourselves as if we’re worth nothing. We have these strong beliefs eating us from the inside, telling us we aren’t worthy of love, reminding us that some things we want aren’t for us, encouraging us to be afraid. 

This critical voice is at its strongest when it uses guilt or shame to keep us from being the person we want to be.

What will people think of me?

People might not love me anymore…

Thoughts like these can take over your mind.

There will always be people who judge or reject you in life — but the truth is those people are ruled by fears about how your new habits affect them. They may have to change something in reaction, and that feels scary. Or they may be reminded of their own self-doubt and feelings of inadequacy.

Someone else’s reaction has everything to do with that person, not with you!

Every organism on this planet is designed to further its own development. 

Choosing yourself first gives you energy and makes you happy. Then, you can offer the best of yourself to those around you. When you are happy and full of energy you can give freely without putting expectations on others. 

When you love yourself totally, all your flaws included, you will attract men who want to support you, love you, and take care of you just the way you are!

And this is not only related to men — you will also attract friends who are a better fit for you.

Did you ever hear the phrase: What you give you’ll get back?

That’s what this is about.

When you aren’t happy and full of energy, you cannot give freely to another person. You will give from a place of lack, and you will consciously or unconsciously need something in return. When you’re in that place, you’ll meet people who want to take from you and give you less in return.

So — if you feel you are meeting people who don’t give you the love and attention that you want — then you know you are not giving yourself enough love and attention.

TLC is the remedy: Tender, Loving Care.

Be more aware of what you tell yourself and believe about yourself. 

Ask yourself what you want from others that you may not be giving yourself? 

Take responsibility for giving that to yourself.

This is the issue at the root of so many relationship problems. 

When you have difficulties with your partner, when you feel disconnected, then taking responsibility and loving yourself is a huge step towards connecting again. 

I know it may be difficult to find out on your own — as I had to do. 

That is why I am here to help if you need more clarity.

Send me an email with your situation, and I will be happy to help you! >>